Posted 17 hours ago








Or, you know, you could just stop saying sorry.

I take it you don’t have anxiety.

You can’t “just stop saying sorry”. You do something, something so little, like accidentally bump into someone. You feel horrible about it. Your brain starts panicking and you have trouble trying to breathe. You stutter an apology. They say it’s okay, but you accidentally do it again, and you apologize again. They just say “Aha, you can stop saying sorry.” And you feel horrible that you’ve probably made them angry or upset, so you mutter out an apology for the third stupid time, and they just say to stop saying sorry. Stop saying sorry. 

You can’t just tell someone to stop saying you’re sorry.

I want that comment on flyers so I can hang them in my school

reblogging this one for the GOOD commentary.

If you’re going to tell someone to stop saying sorry say, “You don’t have to apologize to me.” and smile. If they say sorry again just say, “You’re fine.” and keep smiling and move on. The faster the situation is resolved the faster the person with anxiety can start to calm down. Please don’t get angry at someone for saying sorry, sometimes that’s all the person feels like they can do.

Posted 1 day ago
Regarding your tarantula post- Usually those bald spots mean she's been flicking urticating hairs which is a defense tactic new world tarantulas use. Completely normal.
woahsuper asked

Clover is a Metallic Pinktoe and that particular species doesn’t flick hairs (they squirt poop instead /)(\) They can rub the hairs directly on you though but she’s never done it to me.

Posted 1 day ago


Unknown Jumper

Posted 1 day ago
Posted 1 day ago

Hi I need some spider help

This is Clover (who I assume/hope is a girl but don’t know yet) the Metallic Pinktoe. She is my first tarantula and I haven’t seen her molt yet so I’m not quite sure how to look out for it.

Does that bare patch on her abdomen mean she’s getting ready to molt? Or is it just a bald spot? She’s been refusing crickets for about a month now but that’s typical for her.

Posted 1 day ago


So some dudes were complaining lately, “Women are telling guys to stop telling them how to dress, but not all guys are total misogynists!  Women do it to each other too!”

So. People.  Let me tell you a thing.

This is a picture of a panopticon. It’s a kind of prison.  See, it’s a giant circle, with all the cells around the rim.  The tower in the middle is where the guards are.  The guards can see into all the prisoners’ cells, but the prisoners cannot see each other, and they have difficulty seeing the guards.  Each prisoner knows that at any time, they are being watched, and if the guards see them behaving incorrectly, they will come with truncheons and beat the prisoner up.  They learn to feel that gaze on them, all the time; every movement makes them think, “What if this breaks the rules, and they see, and they come and punish me?”  Soon, prisoners don’t need guards standing over them all the time to follow the rules; they do it themselves, because that gaze is omnipresent.  Even when the guard house is empty, they still think, “What if someone is watching me?”  (This is all from Michel Foucault.  You want more on this, go read Discipline and Punish, enjoy the descriptions of medieval torture.)

The panopticon is a metaphor.  In our society, we are constantly watched, tracked, disciplined, and punished, from childhood. The school says you skipped class today.  The babysitter says you wouldn’t follow the rules.  The police saw you at the park with your friends.  We are held to valid rules, and to bullshit rules; some of them are necessary to make our society safe, and some of them just make us easier to exploit.

You are held to rules.  I am held to rules.  They vary.  As a woman, I am held to rules that say be small be pretty defer to someone else and I’m punished in different ways if I don’t obey.  My brother is held to different rules, that say be strong don’t feel dominate the situation.  We end up policing each other; we meet and he says, “Looking good,” and I remember: people are watching how I dress and how I look.  If I disobey, they will notice, and I could be punished.  I meet him after his job and ask, “Do you think you’ll be promoted soon?” and he remembers: people pay attention to whether or not I’m in charge, and if I’m not dominant, I could be punished.

Sometimes the guardhouse is empty.  Sometimes nobody is paying close attention to what I’m wearing.  Sometimes the guards don’t come to punish me, so whether or not I am pretty or attractive does not affect whether I get to own property.  (It used to: whether or not my ancestresses were married affected their legal and economic statuses hugely)

Feminism is about the work of dismantling the prison when it comes to bullshit rules.  It’s about saying that we shouldn’t be held to stupid rules based on gender.  So it’s about the work of getting rid of the cells and the watchtower, and getting rid of the guards with truncheons.  We can stop telling each other these stories about all the rules we’re held to, and we can stop punishing each other for breaking them.  My brother stops telling me, “You’ll never get a date if you dress like that.”  I stop telling him, “You need to be strong and work hard so you come out on top.”

So no, feminists don’t believe that all men everywhere are 100% misogynistic.  It’s just that a lot of women are conditioned to think that 100% of the time, there is a risk that someone is watching us, and we will be punished if the break the rules.  It is really hard work to break the social structures and the internal attitudes that imprison us.

And yes, women can enforce the panopticon.  Hell, I’ll even tell you a womanly secret: I cannot count the number of times I’ve received cruelty at the hands of fellow girls for the way I looked or dressed.  My entire middle school experience was basically that and algebra. We’re working on fixing that!  Please, do not doubt that we’ve been working on that among ourselves as a gender.  Women have spent a lot of blood, sweat, and tears trying to change how we treat each other.  Now we’re asking you to pitch in.

Posted 1 day ago


BoRiBap is soooo cute!

(My sister vulpescence took the pics; also, the poop is photobombing >u<;)

Posted 1 day ago





Yes! This cute looking deer vampire exists! It’s scientific name is Elaphodus cephalopus and it’s found in high altitudes in Burma or China. They get their name from the “tuft” of hair they have on their foreheads. In the wild they are browsers and grazers, eating mainly grass or fruit. They are territorial and don’t move that far away from their homes. 

Did I mention how they look like an adorable vampire? Oh I did? Oops. 


oh my god
adorable vampire deer
my life is complete

They looked at them and thought, oh we’ll name these creatures after a tuft of fur on their head, NOT THE FUCKING VAMPIRE FANGS!

They probably named them tufted deer because a LOT of deer species have fangs.

Posted 2 days ago



Hello, friend!  Thanking for hanging out, keeping my tomatoes safe.  You’re so friendly.  There’s an ant right by your foot and you’re just hanging out together.  Awesome.

Crab spiders are such dorks.

Crab spiders are my favorite dorks

Posted 2 days ago



yo if anyone in the spider fandom can tell me what this babe is called I’d love to know !!

Looks like a harmless grass spider to me (Agelenopsis). This is 100% not a brown recluse and 100% NOT a hobo spider. Don’t listen to people saying it’s going to kill you, because it won’t.

Nice find!

Lolol spider fandom

I love grass spiders! We get them in our house all the time and they are very sweet (though a little timid) and easy to transport outside.